Proud member of Doula Network Australia!
So this baby is happening! You are so excited and want to give this baby the best. What do you buy? Many women get carried away preparing the nest, buying clothes for the baby, setting up a nursery and so on that they forget the most important thing - to look after themselves~!
Here are my Top 5 Ways To Splurge On Your Pregnancy/Birth.
1. Hire an Independent Midwife!
If you are in Perth - here is a list of Midwives that operate Independently (that means that they are not acting as employees of the hospital but are employed by you directly). This is hands down the best way to ensure the Continuity Of Care that we all know helps women get the birth they really want.
I got the call at 4 30am. My client was well over 40 weeks. She rang to tell me that things were pretty intense, and she would like me to meet her at the Family Birth Centre (FBC).
I always wake with adrenalin at that time of the morning. Listening to her as she paused our conversation through a Birthing Wave, I knew that this was it.
Now nobody planning a homebirth really wants to consider that they may need a hospital bag. I see it as having a dual purpose. Of course should you need to go to hospital for whatever reason, its there and its ready (think Girl Scout).. but also if your partner or your doula or midwife needs to get you something - having everything in one place makes it so much easier to find.
When you are planning a Vaginal Birth After Caesarean (VBAC), it’s easy to want to do absolutely everything you can - this time around. I see women posting often in online forums asking for opinions on whether it’s really worth it to hire a Doula and/or an independent midwife.
Even when you think its too late to get doula support it really isn't.
Just like you - I have been there. I remember vividly being told that my baby needed to be born early. Which absolutely did not fit with the notion in my head that I was still 3 weeks away from 40 weeks (as you can guess mentally I wasn't ready).
I also remember feeling so confused and scared when they said it was an emergency induction and my baby needed to be born now... but then the hospital got busy and I was told I would have to wait until tomorrow. Like what the actual? I needed someone to explain why, but the staff were all quite busy. In fact I waited an hour for someone to enter my room to tell me what was going on, to reassure to me, to tell me where I could get a drink of water.. but noone.
“You’re constantly just feeling like, ‘Are we out of the woods yet? What’s the next thing gonna be? What’s the next hurdle we’re gonna have to jump over? Are we gonna make it to next week?’ It was interesting to write about a relationship where you’re just honestly like, ‘This is probably not gonna last, but how long is it gonna last?’ Those fragile relationships … It doesn’t mean they’re not supposed to happen. The whole time we were having happy memories or crazy memories or ridiculously anxious times, in my head it was just like, ‘Are we OK yet? Are we there yet? Are we out of this yet?’”
I remember listening to her interview and thinking that this is EXACTLY what Parenthood felt like to me. Fragile, happy, crazy and sometimes ridiculously anxious. Those Wonder Weeks just added extra pressure. This too will pass but when?
The Confidence Game in birth is alive and well. I'm writing this blog post in response to an email from a client. Up until now this client has received total support and confidence from their caregiver regarding their ability to give birth naturally. It has always been a valid option for them.
Today when they went to a regular, scheduled hospital appointment, they faced a different person to last time. A person who through their 'counselling' instilled the first seed of doubt in their choices. A person who made it clear that they held the medical degree.
With your first birth you may have had a 'what will be, will be' attitude (or not). This time around you find yourself like Alice in The Magicians. Alice is a magician who knows that she has the power to beat the beast. She is the only one with the power to attempt it.
She and her lover use probability magic to determine their best chance to beat the beast, and the answer is to visit Fillory. Fillory is a magical land filled with talking animals and other magical beasts. It is a land of abundance.
I can't do that' was the reply from one lovely Mumma. 'Why not?' I asked with curiosity. 'It's not what we do in our culture is it?' she said. She was so right and I was so grateful for her pointing out the obvious.
It left me on the one hand saddened, knowing that as culture we expect women to DO IT ALL. In the movies they pop on a dress, heels and cook a three course meal two days after baby is born to entertain all the guests, in a sparkling clean, spotless kitchen.