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Use the form on the right to contact Kelly (The Modern Doula).

0430227114

If you are looking for birth support, or Perth area placenta encapsulation in the Perth, Peel and Hills regions I can help. Kelly Evans - The Modern Doula 

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News + Notes

News & Notes from Kelly Evans (The Modern Doula) on pregnancy and giving birth in Perth, Western Australia.

Filtering by Category: Becoming Us

How to Be A Parenthood Co-creators (Rather Than Pawns In Some Crazy Hunger and Sleep Games).

Kelly Evans

Once upon a Monday...She felt like she had to do EVERYTHING! She felt so unappreciated. She daydreamed in envy back to the days pre-baby. She had no idea how easy she had it then, until now. She once enjoyed copious amounts of FUN and FREEDOM.

Pre-baby she used to spend her weekends indulging in painting and scrapbooking. Postpartum her paints and papers were packed up in boxes in the garage.

Once the CEO in charge of her life, as well as a Manager of a national company, she was respected and well paid. Now she was engulfed in a 24 hour cycle of monotony... rinse and repeat.. Her life now revolved around when the baby slept (or didn't) and gosh there was hell to pay if he didnt..

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3 Relationship Stages Every Mumma Needs To Know About

Kelly Evans

I was watching the Kardashians the other day.. I find them truly fascinating. What amazed me the most was that Kim (pre-Kanye) was in this episode expressing how she had fallen out of love with her husband (sports player can't remember his name).

She wasn't interested anymore. DIDN'T WANT TO SPEND TIME with him and didnt know what to do. Wasnt feeling the LOVE..

It had me asking the question - How many of us know that there are 8 STEPS TO BECOMING US? 

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4 Reasons Why Dads Gain BabyWeight And What You Can Do About It

Kelly Evans

There is an issue affecting men that nobody is really talking about. Well not in public anyway. The issue is that Dads are gaining weight after the birth of their baby.

They despise it, it frustrates them, they want to do something about it, but they also want to be a good Dad and partner.

They often don't know what to do... or they don't feel that their family is supported enough without them...or they're not really sure if they can safely take a break from their caring role long enough to take action (without getting resentful glares on their return).

I see this happening a lot.  So what is going on?? 

The truth is there are likely a range of factors at play, most of which are largely out of Dad's control.

1. Time vs. Money

Dads are often faced with constraints of time and money. Spending the time and money on expensive, solo activities that were a part of his life pre-baby are often not possible anymore (or at least not as often). Often the Dad is faced with being the sole provider postpartum (at least in the short term) meaning less disposable income for the family.. and when he's not at work he's expected to share the workload at home equally with his partner.

'I want to look good, but I have to be there for the family, so gym time is usually put aside so the family stuff gets done. This means gym time sometimes doesn't happen."

2. Deep Sleep Is A Distant Memory

He is likely not getting much sleep. Newborns right through to toddlers (and even children) often wake in the night, sometimes numerous times (research shows that sleep deprivation can affect the thyroid gland and sleep deprivation is strongly associated with weight gain due to changes in appetite hormones called leptin and ghrelin).

3. Good nutrition takes time and effort

pre-baby at least one partner would have the time and energy to make nutritious food. Post-baby is a whole different world. Shopping with a newborn takes effort. Cooking while breastfeeding can be dangerous. So many reasons why it's harder to eat well with a baby. 

4. Relationship Stages

I recently finished my certification with Elly Taylor, doing her Becoming Us training. Her model of Relationship Stages sets out three distinct stages of relationships. Coming Together - Growing Apart - Growing Together - they are a part of the model which explains how we go from being two distinct individuals to being a family.

Now given how long it takes to give birth to a baby after conception, and that in many couples a relationship is started pre-conception, it is really common for new parents to either be in the Growing Apart or Growing Together stage in their relationship by the time baby arrives.

What effect does the relationship stage have on the postpartum Dad?

Quite simply, don't be surprised if a couple who are 'Growing Together' or 'Growing Apart' experience conflict. This conflict may affect how easy the Dad finds it is to negotiate exercise and diet (without extra conflict or even just the fear or expectation of conflict).

If we assume that the couple are in the Growing Apart Stage, the Dad will likely be spending more time on his individual growth, conflict is more common and that is before Dad starts to negotiate 'individual time' to exercise.

If the couple are in the Growing Together Stage, the Dad will likely be channeling his personal growth into growing the couple and the family, and this becomes more important than solo activities.

What can Dad's do to lose weight with a newborn>

The best thing to do is to come up with an agreed plan. Part of the Nest Building Plan (the Plan that I use with couples as part of my Birth Support Package), sets out exercises or activities that are appropriate for each parent (or both to do together).

A daily walk with baby is a great low impact way to start improving your fitness. Gentle activity alleviates stress, and lifts mood.

The key here is not so much the activity itself, but coming to agreement about who will do what, and how often.

Babywearing is a great way for Dad's to spend some time with baby and get exercise. Click here for more info on safe babywearing.

It's then up to that partner to make the time to make it happen on a regular basis (and their partner to support and encourage them).

 

What's Love Got To Do With It? (The Secrets Of Becoming Us)

Kelly Evans

People say nothing can prepare you for parenthood, but that's not true anymore.

Welcoming your new or next baby, or even the one who will complete your family, is a time of transformation.

Knowing how to work as a team with the changes and challenges that are common to most mamas, papas and partners can deepen your connection and strengthen the foundation you are building for your whole family.

Becoming Us prepares, guides and supports you through the first few years of parenthood so you can grow a family that thrives.

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